Since I began my yoga journey a few years ago, I began to hear the terms “be present” and “let that s#%! go” a lot. I suffer from depression and anxiety, I refused to see anyone for it after I became an adult and stopped taking all medications. “This chick is nuts”, yea, probably. I honestly was just tired of being a walking zombie, I did not feel I was actually getting to live and enjoy my life. I felt like there had to be other options.
Insert yoga. I started really focusing on these two terms and what they truly meant.
Unresolved issues. Everyone has them right?? At 11 years old my dad died pretty suddenly just one month after my grandfather. For the next year I continued to lose seven close family and friends as well as my dog. In all honesty, I cannot tell you much about my childhood following. Bad luck and stupid mistakes left destruction in its wake and I was now an angry young adult. I constantly felt like I could not breath, could not escape the terrible feeling of my life and what I chose to pretend never happened. I had night terrors and there was no other way to describe me other than haunted by my past.
Why am I telling you all this? Huge downer, right?
Yoga is about being present and letting go of the past. Do not worry about the future, it could change nine more times and is coming no matter what. Trust the universe. Be present, in the now. Finding gratitude in moment. This changed my life!!
Whenever my past creeps into my thoughts, and it does, last night is a prime example, like a deep, dark, misty fog, making it impossible to breath, I channel this and make it my mantra. I focus on the now, having gratitude that I am alive, breathing, in a comfy bed, with a roof over my head, and fantastic people in my life. I get up and go flow in my yoga room or sign up for a class and go to a studio and focus on now. I let that shit go. And allow myself to be present.
You can rewrite your future and let go of the past. Be present.
“Make an attitude to be in gratitude, you will find the whole universe will come to you.” – Yogi Bhajan